Today was really awesome: it finally snowed. Even though I was horrified tonight as I drove through the glowing orbs that were hiding the lines on the road, it was still awesome to get that feeling that winter is starting up early. I hope the roads stay nice to me.
The semester is almost over already. We still have the month of November and a couple weeks in December but we’re more than halfway done. In Painting Class today, we discussed more about our final project we have to do. I can’t believe how fast this semester has flown by. It is by far the best semester I’ve ever gone through and school is finally feeling rewarding.
Also, I think our family shower will be done soon. NO MORE BATHS! As much as I love baths, I sure as hell miss taking a nice clean shower. I can’t wait!
So I’ve been thinking more about what I should write in this blog. I’ve come to the conclusion with the help from my mom that I should write about an issue that I’ve been struggling with since I was 13. I’m so excited to write about it but I’m not sure if I should post it on this blog. Because if I do, that will be what I talk about the most since it is a daily struggle for me. Is that even something people will want to hear about? I can’t even bring myself to write about my day. I feel selfish for talking about myself this much. But the subject I’m choosing to write about is more than just me talking about my struggle—it’ll hopefully give people a different perspective on the subject. A good, helpful perspective. So now I need to figure out if that’s what I want to make this blog about, or if I should just start up a whole new blog. But then I’d feel bad about leaving this one alone since it took me so long to work up the courage and make one. If I don’t write about this struggle, what else would I write about? I know I can’t think of anything else and then I’ll constantly still worry about what to talk about. So yes, perhaps I’ll start writing about that.
When first starting this blog, I had the idea that this would be a good way for me to show the real me and show the good and bad things I go through in life. Well, this daily struggle is a part of me. It doesn’t define who I am, because I’m so much more than that. It is definitely a huge part of me though and I’m not afraid to show it anymore. So why not? There are many good and bad things about it but like I said, it’s a huge part of my life that I tend to keep from those around me. I think it would be awesome to finally unload about it and express myself. Ok, I think I’ve made up my mind. I’m going to start blogging about it.
So from this point on, I’ll start explaining the history and experiences I’ve had with this struggle. I understand if people don’t want to read about it. But you know what? If you don’t want to read about it, then don’t read it. It’s real to me and I’m not going to hide it to make people happy. I need to get it out there in the world. Yes it’ll be gloomy, depressing, hard to read, and difficult to understand. But talking about this will help explain the positive aspects of my life as well. This doesn’t really define me but I would be a different person if I hadn’t gone through this. No, I am in no way doing this for attention. I am sick of the false notion that this struggle is based around attention. If I wanted attention, then I wouldn’t have done it for so many years without anyone knowing. I am doing this to help others understand and to help myself come to terms with it. Please bear with me… I’ll throw in some comedy so it isn’t all dark and depressing because it isn’t an overall depressing topic. I just want people to know and understand more than anything. This is so exciting!
Ok I’m going to stop writing for the night. I’m freezing my limbs off sitting next to my window with 30 degree weather outside. I’m going to get under my covers and call it a night. Thanks again for reading.
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